Why do I reach for things that have "Out Of Bounds" written all over them?Why do I fall apart like 'Jenga' when one things goes wrong?Why do I find errors in moments that are out weighed by the perfections?Why do I always fall for the next thing in line? I sat in a car for a long drive today and me being the forgetful person I am, I forgot to charge my ipod after using it yesterday on the bus to Cedar Point. In that kind of situation, most people would turn to the radio, but this is me we are talking about. If I have a choice between mainstream (radio) music and silence, I would take the silence any day. Nothing against music on the radio, it's just not me, and there is also something about silence that humbles a person. You should try it sometime.
But with dead air, there comes moments to ponder. I kept focusing on what I have done these last few weeks and realized a few flaws I have left unshackled, if I say so myself.
Each one of these questions have an answer if I really tried to look for them, but is it the answer I am looking for? I spend all of this time questioning why I do things and how I do them, but I feel as though I should just sit back and tell myself:
"this is what makes me, me"
"this is what separates me from you"
"this is why I am Abstract Greene"
If I had one suggestion for you, it would be to sit in a silent car, on or off. Preferably off if you are parked in a garage with the doors closed. I don't want to be responsible for anyone dying of carbon monoxide intake. But while you are in that car, put it in park and pop the seat back and let your mind wonder. Let it hike the trail it has not been on for quite some time. Let it soak in the tub you have been filling the last few weeks. I bet you will find moments in your life worth the smiles and the attention. Although you have a question, a knack for finding flaws or even a disappointment, it's not the end of the world. Strut on to bigger and better breaths of fresh air. Maybe after three winks, you will realize that God has a plan for you.
What is it about one hug that makes me want to stay and savor the moment.
I come back to visit and to catch up with a few friends and I realize how much I have missed my second home. The place where I am always welcomed. The place where relationships have grown. Those people whom I have let out to dry and put on pause, only bless my presence when I get back. It may be summer and I do have an excuse for not being near them, but I do not have any excuse for totally losing contact. I apologize dearly to all whom that may pertain to. Life here in Elkhart is beyond my expectations and has kept every waking hour of my time busy, but I miss Fort Wayne. I am ready to be heading back and rejuvenating the fellowship I have put aside. Two more weeks.
Time passes; music plays,
Smiles are crossed and eyes gaze.
There are people,
might I say silhouettes,
paused amongst the crowd,
gawking at the two on stage.
They stand there singing their hearts out;
letting each word scream its own story,
scream its own passion,
scream its own journey.
I find myself drowning in the moment.
Nothing can touch me now.
July is ONE hour, TWO hugs, THREE winks, and a shower away. I want to send smiles out to all of you who have made my June worth while. Whether it was going out to Subway on a spur of the moment, having heartfelt conversations while assembling a puzzle, catching fish with my two darling cousins, Tylee and Dylan, or spending hours in the sun letting the grass slip between our toes or tickle our backs as we sprawled out staring at the clouds. Summer has finally begun. Life is wonderful.
But with July peeking around the corner, I can only look forward to an even better month. I plan to throw my sandals off once more and soak in the sun till my cheeks peel and my nose is cherry red. I plan to celebrate my 21st birthday on the 5th of July with friends and family. And I plan to become closer to those who I have not spent enough time with lately. It will be a month worth remembering and a month full of memories. So hats off to the ruby month, July, the seventh month on the Gregorian calendar, the warmest month in the northern hemisphere, and the month named after Julius Caesar. It will be great.
I will be back... I promise!!!
It has been weeks, if not months, since I have written in this blog.
Summer has hit and as much as I thought there would be that free time to write everyday and really get my name out there, I have been rubbing knuckles of one day to another, staying up late till my arms can't carry their own weight, and working my brain to the point where everything begins to become funny. You know exactly what I mean by that, and if you don't, how do you know me? lol
Anyway... There has been so many things to talk about but right now I just got back from a wedding and I don't have the brain capacity to tell each story in detail... so here I am promising that I will be writing if not everyday, every other day, to catch up on what I have to tell, share with you what has been on my mind, and reinvent my blog so that I don't end up being too busy to ever not write something. So till tomorrow... have a great night, take care and I will be back in action with some sleep under my belt.
Aaron C. Greene
Oh the world we live in!
This morning I was searching the world wide web for various forms of signage. I wanted to use a modern yet slightly humorous construction of the everyday ideograms we see. Oh... the reason I was on this small excursion was all for a project I'm working on in my Graphic Design class. With my eyes glued to the screen and half glazed over with the usual daybreak of tuesday morning, I came across this picture and realized a spelling error. I felt obligated to bring this up mainly because in a world of graphic design, mistakes like this are drastic. We as designers of graphics must ALWAYS recheck our work and if spell check tells you that a word is wrong, most likely it is wrong. Also if you are not sure on anything, there are people out there to help you. People are always ready and willing to offer a helping hand whether you need it or not and for them to be asked for help surprisingly enough gives them a sense of importance and value.
On the lighter side, I did come across many beautiful designs and spell checked works, so I guess there are enough quality designers out there to balance the field. To the graphic designers out there, power to you and make an impression with the skills you were given and be a role model to those who are looking to be in the field. Competition only improves everyones dexterity.
This weekend I was sifting through my excessive amount of "junk" that has accumulated in my dorm room over this past year of college. I was hunting for items that I had no problem sending home before school was out, mainly because I didn't want to have a lot to move out at one time when it came to me doing my final victory dance out of student housing at IPFW. (Side note: I am never going back to student housing unless it's to visit a friend)
While I was digging through the unnecessaries, I came across a monstrous stack of old mix CDs. Those CDs that you throw together in a jiffy that consist of the craziest mix of songs; Songs that sit on opposite ends of the music spectrum, songs that aren't even the language you speak, and best of all, songs that make you laugh and enjoy life just that much more because of how ludicrous and preposterous the content of the song was. For example: "Who Let the Dogs Out" by Baha Men. The first time I heard that song, my dad, my brother and I were driving around Elkhart (to hacienda if I'm not mistaking) and we all thought it was the coolest song EVER! I even want to say we were rocking out to the song haha... Now the song seems just ridiculous. You get the point.
So, one thing that has continually amazed me about listening to old music favorites has been the ability to recall long lost memories through audible recognition. For me, it hit me when I was driving down Coliseum Rd. euphorically screaming to an old favorite of "If I Told You This Was Killing Me, Would You Stop" by The Juliana Theory.
"Windows were open, sunglasses were on; I was driving down the toll road with an old friend, allowing the fond and fresh summer air to fill my lungs and the one pound bag of twizzlers to fill my stomach. Every now and then I would catch eyes with a passing car that had the same direction, if not destination as we had. We were driving to Notre Dame University to work concessions and see friends because it was an easy point for Key Club and an easy excue to leave home. While we were on our brief, half-sized road trip, this song wold every now and then fall on my car speakers and we would find joy in mouthing, singing and dancing to the song."
So what I am getting at is that although years have passed and music preference has somewhat shifted away from that exact scene of music, the same euphoric emotion could be expressed. And the best part is, those emotions weren't exactly expressed because of the the music style but because of the memories we recollect in that brief moment of audible pleasure.
I challenge you to either find your old CDs or search some of your old favorites and see where those take you. Even if there isn't a sharp memory attached to the song, you will still withdraw an emotion and feeling of that time period. It is most definitely worth every second.
Take care and smile more. You'll live a longer, healthier life.
I looked through my music in my xanga to see what I use to listen to back in the day and i was surprised to see all the bands that I forgot I listed to... here is a few of them that I found quite enjoyable.
- Daphne Loves Derby (posted new songs on their myspace)
http://www.myspace.com/daphnelovesderby
- Wheatus
- JamisonParker
- The Evans Anthem
- Baha Men
- Eiffel 65
- Will Smith
- Cake
- Dispatch
- etc.
All I hear is word vomit as it is spat out left and right. I spend more time wiping off the remains than trying to pay attention, but I feel like everyone else feels the same way. My ears burn and my eyes wander. I catch another stare from across the room every now and then. I can't help but want to scream after every distilled pause. Not because there is silence, but because my eyes have already glazed over with checkered confusion. The air gets stale and my mouth dries out; my hands just want to draw, but I know that I will get called out if I try and do anything other than stare with the habitual empty face I have in this class. It's not like I am always this way, but when I feel like there is nothing productive happening my mind goes crazy, my head spins.
So today on my drive back to Fort Wayne after an amazing Easter with family, I listened to a stuffyoushouldknow podcast on death. Basically, it was talking about how us as humans are so afraid of death and yet we have it on our minds so much. To me, death is a scary thing to talk about. I know it happens and I am at ease with the idea that I am leaving this world for a better place, but there is this slight doubt on how will the transition happen. In one moment, it crossed my mind that we work so hard to prolong life yet we have this fascination with death. We take medications, we eat healthy, and we avoid all activity that poses any risk at all to our health which in many instances dampers the quality of life. We avoid the experimentation of our capabilities and what we want to try to keep us on our toes.This avoidance in most cases is presented as fear; for example the fear of riding a roller coaster or fear of skydiving. I don't know about you but I would go skydiving in a heartbeat. This summer you could call me up to go and I would be packed and on my way to your place within minutes as long as my schedule allowed it.
I don't really know what sparked this, I guess I just wanted to let you know what I was thinking... but hey, isn't that what a blog is all about? Till next time, I will keep you all in mind. As always check out my art on http://www.greeneacres.deviantart.com
