One day we will laugh.

I've been sitting back trying to find a moment of bliss.
A moment where pain is three shots, a blank and a miss.
Many times I laugh but it ceases to phase me.
I'm not sure if my mind is telling me I'm crazy.

I have a friend that will be leaving in a week.
I will miss her dearly.

Whether it was talking about how we lived so close back home, yet we never did anything there together or sitting back and watching a movie while accidentally burning popcorn twice in a row (that would be my doing),
I will miss her dearly.

Whether it was moments where we would not see each other for long periods of time and talk on the side or moments of looking at each other face to face and not saying a word,
I will miss her dearly.

I wish I spent more time with her as a friend, but that time has come and gone. Embrace those who are in your life, for they may be gone in a blink of an eye. The sad part about it is that you will not realize how much you will miss them until they are already gone, so take every opportunity given to show them how much you care for them.

Why do I reach for things that have "Out Of Bounds" written all over them?
Why do I fall apart like 'Jenga' when one things goes wrong?
Why do I find errors in moments that are out weighed by the perfections?
Why do I always fall for the next thing in line?

I sat in a car for a long drive today and me being the forgetful person I am, I forgot to charge my ipod after using it yesterday on the bus to Cedar Point. In that kind of situation, most people would turn to the radio, but this is me we are talking about. If I have a choice between mainstream (radio) music and silence, I would take the silence any day. Nothing against music on the radio, it's just not me, and there is also something about silence that humbles a person. You should try it sometime.
But with dead air, there comes moments to ponder. I kept focusing on what I have done these last few weeks and realized a few flaws I have left unshackled, if I say so myself.
Each one of these questions have an answer if I really tried to look for them, but is it the answer I am looking for? I spend all of this time questioning why I do things and how I do them, but I feel as though I should just sit back and tell myself:

If I had one suggestion for you, it would be to sit in a silent car, on or off. Preferably off if you are parked in a garage with the doors closed. I don't want to be responsible for anyone dying of carbon monoxide intake. But while you are in that car, put it in park and pop the seat back and let your mind wonder. Let it hike the trail it has not been on for quite some time. Let it soak in the tub you have been filling the last few weeks. I bet you will find moments in your life worth the smiles and the attention. Although you have a question, a knack for finding flaws or even a disappointment, it's not the end of the world. Strut on to bigger and better breaths of fresh air. Maybe after three winks, you will realize that God has a plan for you.

It has been three days.

My mind is free and my mouth is bone dry.
Yet it is raining and I have a drink sitting an arm reach away.
I try my best to sneak my head around the window sill without being seen,
but there are those moments of embarrassment when I end up locking eyes.

It has been three days.

I see people gliding in the rain doing their best to avoid each intoxicating drop,
but as persistent as they are, the moisture wants to cling to whatever it can gets it's hands on.
They take quick stride after stride in response;
some laughing, others emotionless,
but in the end there is a sign of achievement in their faces when they are able to take cover.

It has been three days.

I find myself slightly poisoned by the cold, gloomy and wet night.
I pull tight the one blanket keeping me from possibly losing a finger or two.
It keeps me constricted, leaving only that profound gut feeling of loss.
To ease the tension I rip open my chest only to find an open sky.
Clouds are accented across the piercing blue canvas,
while a breeze rolls past torn ends of flesh only to tickle what nerve endings are exposed;
a few butterflies from three days back take the opportunity to leave while the coast is clear.

It has been three days.

my mind is free and my mouth is bone dry.
my life is still and my heart is sky high.
I feel the warm sun beating in my chest,
while I sit in the cold, hoping for the best.

We have those moments of fear and doubt,
but it is only our ability to cast them out.

Live life to its fullest and you will never look back.

You lean in for that first kiss and end up biting your lip
and tasting the blood that thirsted for every inch of unpleasant silence;
for every part of lost hope embarked in the wrong direction, at the wrong time.

Your ears burn with hope of hearing every inaudible word that lays in that single moment
where two decide to stare in opposite directions. One may ask, "what should we do?" when they both know that the other just wants to jet out of the room to leave the unenviable stillness that lies in between each shoulder, but instead all remains static.

Your mouth ends up yearning for a drink of anything, because rage and half act confusion has dried up whatever moisture that was present in the first place.

This could either end up making a moment or taking a life. Either one will be a story told till the end of time. So make your decision. Run. Hide. Give in. Or if you are brave, try again.

Persistence always trumps and love always ends the discomfort.
---------------------------------------------------------
I have had this kind of story on my mind all day, and I just had to get it out there so I couldn't regret not posting it. Thanks for the read and if this sparked any thoughts, I'd love to hear them.